Obedience...A Show of Faith

God woke me up before waking the sun last Sunday. I had a horrible dream, which was out of the norm. I usually don't dream. When I do, it's almost always the Holy Spirit moving on me. That or the devil haunting me. I know that may sound strange to some of you, but I have found that the closer I draw to God and He to me, the more interest the devil has in me as well. I take it to mean he (the devil) sees me as a threat. I'm cool with that.

Anyway, I awoke from my dream and asked God "what the hell was that?" I'm not always at my best when awakened unpleasantly, I pray my Father forgives me. After a quick trip to the restroom, I settled to my knees at the side of the bed. I prayed for clarity, some sort of explanation for the disturbing dream and then I sat and waited. After a few moments of quietly going over the dream in my mind I was in tears. Then the Holy Spirit whispered to me "I know the plans I have for you."

I understood immediately. It was the Sunday after my birthday and I had signed up to do the scripture reading at morning service. It was first Sunday and I had chosen a scripture from a devotional I read earlier in the week. I figured it would tie in well with a communion message. Now the Holy Spirit was urging me to scrap that plan and follow Gods plan. Humph!

I wish I could say that I responded with immediate compliance, but that was not the case. The more the Holy Spirit revealed to me what God had planned, the more my urge to resist grew. Not only did God have a different scripture in mind, He wanted me to speak to the congregation. There was a message in the dream I'd had. Something that touched deep inside me to the heart of who I am as a woman, as a mother. God was showing me that it was from my mothers heart that I was to speak to the sisters, mothers and daughters of New J that morning. I had only one problem...public speaking is not my thing. I imagined what Moses must have felt when God told him to go before Pharaoh. I did not feel up to the task.

I crawled into bed and tried to go back to sleep. I shut my eyes but couldn't close out the memory of the dream I'd had. I wanted to hide under the covers and sleep away the assignment I'd been given. The Holy Spirit was having none of that. It's impossible to run from God when he lives in you.

So I climbed out of bed, grabbed my notebook and wrote down what God had for me to say.

All morning I wavered back and forth. I prayed for God to give me the courage to do what He intended. Then the Holy Spirit whispered to me, "have faith."

Soon the time came and I took the podium. I breathed deep and hoped that my New J family was prepared to receive what I had come to say. I hoped they would believe not only in me, but my father who sent me. I gave them what I came to give, just as it was given to me. Then I took my seat, feeling full and knowing that my Father was smiling down at me.

Not only was my obedience rewarded with the warmth of the Spirit in my heart. God gave me confirmation that it was His plan all along. I was sure of it when a later announcement as well as Pastor's sermon tied in perfectly with the scripture I read and the message I was given to deliver. I smiled and thought, "Ok God, now you're just showing off."